


Battle of the Dads

by horrible_memes



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 13:56:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14403543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horrible_memes/pseuds/horrible_memes
Summary: Magnus and Taako argue about who would be a better dad for Angus





	Battle of the Dads

   “I’m not saying you wouldn’t be a great father. I’m just saying I’d be better for him.”

   “Cool cool got it. Quick question, though: which one of us has actually been an orphan?”

   “Do you even know how to take care of a child?”

   “I could ask you the same question, my dude.”

   Barry, Lup, and Lucretia stood silently in Magnus’ room on the B.O.B. base, listening to Magnus and Taako argue back and forth about who should adopt the world’s greatest detective. The two had asked their coworkers to step in and settle their “discussion,” but the trio could barely get a word in before the argument was back in full swing.

   Magnus sighed and turned to his silent coworkers. “Listen. I’ve been talking for long enough. What do you guys think?”

   Barry raised his hand to speak, but Lup immediately interrupted him, blurting out “Yeah, I just got one quick question.” She turned to Taako, a smug grin plastered on her face. “What the fuck happened to you, my man? I mean, you’re getting this worked up about another person! When’d you become so mushy?!”

   “Whatever, dweeb.” Taako retorted, tilting his head down to try and hide his blushing cheeks. Lup blurted out laughing, and started prancing around the room, chanting “MY BROTHER’S A BIG SOFTY!”

   Magnus stifled a laugh before turning towards Lucretia. “Lucretia, your thoughts?”

   Lucretia turned back to face Magnus and scratched her chin. “Well, you both seem like you’d make good candidates. Taako, I feel you’d be very supportive and get him things he wants, but Mangus, you’d just shower him with love.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I’m unsure. I’ve never been that great with kids, to be honest.”

   “Well fuck.” Taako blurted out. “You can’t decide, and Lup’s no help at all, so now we’re just back where we started.”

   “Is there anyone else we can ask?” Magnus asked.

   “Um,” Barry raised his hand. “Why don’t you guys just ask Angus himself?”

   Taako and Magnus turned to Barry and simultaneously facepalmed. Taako pulled out his stone of farspeech and entered Angus’ codec number.

   “Yes, sir? you do need anything?” Angus’ tiny voice spoke through the stone.

   “Yo, Ango. I’m chillin’ down in Magnus’ dorm and we need you for a hot sec.” Taako responded. “So get your ass down here.”

   “Of course, sir! I’ll be there as soon as I can!”

   A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. Magnus threw open the door and looked down to see Angus, magnifying glass in hand.

   “Hello, sir! I got here as quick as I could. May I come in?” Angus greeted. Magnus smiled warmly and ushered Angus into the room.

   “You guys rarely ever call me, and I’m almost never allowed in your room. Is everything okay?”

   “Everything’s fine, my dude. We just wanted to ask you a question.” Taako smiled at Angus.

   Angus raised an eyebrow. “O-kay? If it’s only a question, why didn’t you just ask me over the stone?”

   “Because then the fans would complain you weren’t given enough screen time. Listen, it’s a simple question, but an important one.”

   Angus nodded. “Alright. Shoot!”

   “Well, pumpkin, we’ve noticed how much time you spend here by yourself and how lonely you seem. So we kind of thought we’d… maybe… possibly… adopt you.” Taako said.

   “But the problem is,” Magnus chimed in. “We both had that thought independently and now we can’t decide on who would be better for you. So, we.. decided to ask you. Since, y’know, you’re the one being adopted.” Magnus clapped his hands together. “So. Who do you want to be your dad?”

   “Yep. A choose your own dad-venture. That sounds really wrong actually I take that back.” Taako spoke up.

   Angus looked back and forth between Magnus and Taako, his cheeks blushing and a huge smile stretched across his face. He then ran up and gave both of them a big hug, or as big of a hug as his tiny arms would let him. “Sirs… You… you’re both my dads.” He looked up at a confused Magnus and Taako, tears welling up in his eyes. “Everyone here is my family! You all care about me so much and treat me so well! I… I love you both!”

   Taako and Magnus looked at each other and smiled. Magnus picked Angus up and placed him on his shoulders as Taako used Mage Hand to rub the little scamp’s head.

   Barry, Lup, and Lucretia stood silently in Magnus’ dorm, watching Magnus and Taako interact with the world’s greatest detective and the world’s most beloved child.


End file.
